One last "I love you" for Amelia

Early yesterday morning, I heard a loud thumping and found my cat, Amelia, dragging herself up the stairs with her two front paws. Amelia had lost the use of her two hind legs. I immediately rushed her to the emergency veterinary clinic.

Amelia was 21 years old and for the past year, had been struggling with a breakdown of kidney functions, high blood pressure, the lost of vision in her right eye, and a heart murmur. This morning, the vet told me that Amelia also had degenerative joints in her hind leg and there's nothing she can do to allow Amelia to regain use of those legs. I had to choose between allowing her to continue to struggle with her illnesses or to put her to sleep.

Amelia was named after Amelia Earhart, the aviator because she had always wanted to fly. When I first received her as a kitten, she was already excited with the way the birds take flight. Every time she saw, through the window, a bird flying, she would jump on to the window sill and watch. And when the bird is out of sight, she would climb down to the floor and try to jump and take off. Shortly after first seeing birds fly, she climbed up the stairs and jumped from the second floor banister to the first floor. It scared me to death but she was all right. After that episode, she was Amelia Earhart.

Early yesterday morning, as I cradled Amelia in my arms stroking the top of her head and her back and listening to her heavy breath, I knew. After a life of flying in her dreams, it would be terrible to force her to crawl with her front paws for her remaining days.

As hard a decision as that was, I knew that it was time to give her back to the Lord.

I whispered, "I love you" to Amelia one last time before the vet injected her. Then I continued to stoke her as she gently fell asleep.

As I left her, I lost a huge chunk of myself; just as I had lost a large piece of me when my grandmother passed away, just as when Susie's plane crashed in Mexico, Just as when my Dad died of a heart attack.

Do animals have souls? Do they go to heaven? Suddenly, all the theology in the world doesn't matter.

Lord, please receive my baby into your arms.