Ex-Virgins Not Fit for Monogamy?

I've been browsing the posts in one of the "Christian" Forums in MySpace when I found another post to which I find hard not to respond.

The discussion topic was titled "Ex-Virgins Not Fit for Monogamy". i.e., Christians should not marry non-virgins and of course, Christians should remain chaste before marriage. The original post referenced statistics which indicate that marriages in which one or both partners did not remain chaste before marriage have a higher probability of divorce. Other posts cited the problem of STDs and unwed pregnancies.

Here's my response:

Boy, I've never seen a Christian conversation go so way off course (from Christian Theology)!

For starter, the marriage relationship is the image, that God gives us, to allow us to visualize His relationship to the us: God being the Bridegroom and us, his unfaithful betroth.

The example that He sets for us is that the Bridegroom forgives his bride for her prostitution with false gods and gives His life to get His bride back.

This image is not only the opposite of the proposition, that "Ex-Virgins [are] Not Fit for Monogamy"; it goes beyond the opposite. In the proposition, the bridegroom would not even ask her to marry him if she is not a virgin. In the Biblical image, the bridegroom did whatever it takes (including being incarnated so that He can be crucified on the cross to atone for the sin of the bride) to get his bride back after she had been unfaithful.

Secondly, the proposition, that "Ex-Virgins [are] Not Fit for Monogamy", discounts the redemptive power of Christ to transform a person. It would be like saying, "A drug addict will always be a drug addict" even with Christ. Or "A murderer will always be a murder" even with Christ. Or "Any one who denies Christ three times is not fit to lead the church". [John 21:15-17]

Thirdly, are we not all sinners [Romans 3:23]? What if there's a survey that says, statistically, liars make bad spouses? Or people who have bad relationships with their parents will have a bad relationships with their spouses? Or... (you fill in whatever sin with which you are currently dealing) Are you then unfit for marriage?

As for STDs and unwed pregnancies (or any other selfish reasons) being the reasons for keeping chaste before marriage, do we not keep chaste before marriage if STDs and unwed pregnancies (or any other selfish reasons) is not a problem? Of course not! The Biblical response is: we keep chaste to please God. God wants us to be holy (set apart) from the sinful culture in which we live. [Ephesians 1:4]